The World Cup.....of films, the quarter finals!

So from 32 national film institutions, we are down to just 8. let's play this out (is anyone actually reading this, I'm not sure what my format is here anymore, seems to be made up from game to game) and see who wins

Quarter finals

France vs USA

Les Bleus (France) run out in the smug knowledge that, like England with football, they are the country that invented cinema. encouraged by a protectionist government, their left of midfield style is immediately identifiable, spawning classics including The Umbrellas Of Cherbourg, The Passion Of Joan Of Arc and Bette Blue

The players, the ageing squad of Jean-Luc Goddard, Francois Truffant, Claude Charbrol and Eric Rohmer is gradually being replaced with fresh, more action-oriented blood including Jean-Pierre Jeunet (Amelie, if you haven't seen this film, although in French, don't let that stop you, it is masterful), Audrey Tatou (Amelie, The Da Vinci Code) and Louis Leterrier (The Incredible Hulk) and the multimillion pound playmaker director, Luc Besson (Leon, The Fifth Element, Arthur And The Invisibles).

Strengths, Thorough yet subtle understanding of character, taut plotting and rich narrative plus some unabashed reliance on nudity (Emmanuelle anyone?). They are also no big fans of American cinema.

Weaknesses, Following a tradition that takes self-obsession to a new level, the French assume everyone is interested in them.....but at least do it in style. Thankfully, the yawn-inducing Rohmer-encouraged culture of interminable naval-gazing is now in extra time.

Star of the team, French cinema's own Bobby Charlton, the evergreen Godard

and so we now get to salute Uncle Sam's finest, this global cinematic leviathon is the side to beat, an all conquering, straight-shooting, highly-efficient machine that has little time for players who depart from tried and tested formula, from Disney to De Palma, the Yanks ARE the big league.

The players, A huge squad of players is always available for selection, with the likes of Quentin Tarantino, Francis Ford Coppola ,Martin Scorsese and George Lucas always guaranteed a place in the starting line up.

Strengths, Sheer size and power go a long way and there's room for movie mavericks like Steven Soderbergh and David Lynch to shake up the play at set pieces.

Weaknesses, Over confidence and the action film by the book predictability could mean the Yanks trip up, plus any Adam Sandler or Wayans brothers films.

Star of the team, the greatest of all time? Stephen Spielberg.

Against most other countries, France would of strolled through to the semi's but the USA are too strong and powerful, Jean Reno, Gerard Depardieu and Audrey Tatou all defecting Stateside to make movies mean USA progress winning 3-1

Japan vs Switzerland

Eleven samurai would of been better but with their seven, let's run a rule over the Japanese, the 1950's saw immense classics like Tokyo Story, Seven Samurai and Rashomon, this may of been the peak of Japanese cinema but they still come strongly to rattle defences with J-horror and anime.

The players, senior strikers Takeshi Kitano (Zatoichi) and Hideo Nakata (Ringu, Dark Water) are joined by veteran animator Hayao Miyazaki, who was tempted out of retirement to make Spirited Away and Howl's Moving Castle.

Strengths, Material so original, especially with J-horror, that the Americans can have no hesitations in stealing it for themselves.

Weaknesses, Nothing too major, getting outlets in the west for their movies is main thing, other than that Japanese cinema is enjoying a second golden age

Star of the team, Hideo Nakata, providing even more scares than some of Wayne Rooney's former 'girlfriends'

The Swiss aren't noted for cinema, having a few name actors is one thing, producing head turning cinema is another

The players, Ursula Andress, Yul Brynner and Bruno Ganz, few names players with pretty much one big game behind them, still enough to cause concern

Strengths, able to pull of a shock, see Bruno Ganz in Downfall, absolutely ,mesmerising performance

Weaknesses, bit part players in the global frame of cinema, plus don't produce home grown movies of any huge note

Star of the team, Fredi M. Murer, director of Vitus in 2007 and Hohenfeuer in 1985

This result has to go as expected, the Japanese are far too strong and end up showing mercy by only winning 5-0

Mexico vs England

The Mexicans have long lived in the shadow of their pioneering neighbours to the north and have the occasional break out actor and in recent years have made huge in roads in directing major Hollywood movies.

The players, Anthony Quinn won the Oscar for best supporting actor twice, Katy Jurado starred opposite Elvis in Stay Away Joe, Salma Hayek, Gael Garcia Bernal are two names known globally and Alfonso Cuaron who directed a Harry Potter movie and Children Of Men should be noted, the Mexicans are getting stronger year on year

Strengths, not so much the acting talent as the directing talent, from Robert Rodriguez's Mexican debut El Mariachi, Cuaron's Y Tu Mama Tambien, Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu's 21 Grams or Babel and arguably the greatest director working today, Guillermo Del Toro (Cronos, Mimic, The Devil's Backbone, Blade 2, Hellboy 1 & 2 and El Labertino del Fauno aka Pan's Labyrinth)

Weaknesses, newcomers to the global stage of cinema, occasionally have a break out star but until the mid 90's haven't been a major player and their cinema though gritty and dramatic, lacks the passion and creativity you would expect it to have.

Star of the team, Guillermo del Toro, the master of movie making right now, his vision for characters even surpasses Tim Burton's imagination

Let's focus on the English, decades of underachievement, England always present a talented squad of players, even if they seem incapable of reaching the top flight, Guy Ritchie has recently hit a patch of form (RocknRolla, Sherlock Holmes), Nick Park (Wallace And Gromit) and Danny Boyle (Trainspotting, Slumdog Millionaire) are all safe hands

The players, old stagers like Mike Leigh (Vera Drake (oddly, i watched this film at the cinema with my grandma!), Secrets & Lies) and Ken Loach (The Wind That Shakes The Barley, Looking For Eric) are always guaranteed a run out but it's the likes of Paul Greengrass (The Bourne series, United 93), Shane Meadows (This Is England) and Edgar Wright (Shaun Of The Dead, Hot Fuzz) who are blazing a trail, though after The Boat That Rocked, Richard Curtis is dropped

Strengths, the ability to shoot and score on the international scene, unequalled technical skill and the ability to make very little go a long way (Roger Moore)

Weaknesses, terminal lack of self belief, plus an over-reliance on the formulaic 'geezer' shoot em ups, Danny Dyer and the Carry On films

Star of the team, arguably the greatest of all time, Alfred Hitchcock

Current records show that del Toro will be stiff opposition but in Chris Nolan (The Dark Knight), England have nothing to worry about and win a tight affair 1-0

New Zealand vs Spain

A country famed for it's beauty, used as a backdrop to many major films but outside of that, what does New Zealand have to offer?

The players, Anna Paquin (raised in New Zealand from the age of four), Russell Crowe, Sam Neill and Keisha Castle-Hughes (the youngest ever person nominated for 'best leading actress' at the Oscars for Whale Rider)

Strengths, few heavyweight actors and stand out performances, the main man is Peter Jackson (Lord Of The Rings, King Kong, Braindead, The Frighteners, Bad Taste), an immense talent who commands the cinematic world at will

Weaknesses, lack of consistency before Jackson, plus not many films come out of the country that really grab the attention of the world.

Star of the team, Peter Jackson, the David Beckham of the movie world who curled one into the top corner with the immense Lord Of The Rings trilogy

La Furia Espanola are on a creative winning streak, thanks mainly to one man, Pedro Almodovar, the colourful Iberian playmaker introduced a new verve and dynamism missing from the national scene since the rule of Franco with films like Women On The Verge Of A Nervous Breakdown and Talk To Her.

The players, including Almodovar, horror-meister Rodrigo Cortes (Dirt Devil, Buried), Juame Balaguero and Placo Plaza ([REC], [REC] 2), all marshalled by veteran midfield general Luis Bunuel

Strengths, With the likes of The Orphanage, Pan's Labyrinth and [REC], horror appears to be Spain's strongest suit while actors busy on the international transfer market include Penelope Cruz (Blow, Vanilla Sky), Antonio Banderas (Shrek movies, Desperado) and Javier Bardem (No Country For Old Men)

Weaknesses, porn film-making is bigger than traditional film making, lack of finance is a huge issue

Star of the team, Pedro Almodovar

both countries have a weak history on the global stage, but some big names in recent times, the man who directed Lord Of The Rings steals the show in a 4-3 win for New Zealand!